(A Work-From-Home, ADHD, Co-Sleeping, Breastfeeding Mom’s Take on “Routine”)
Let’s cut to the chase: I have zero shame in admitting I do not have a strict schedule for my child—or for myself, for that matter. Between my ADHD brain, working from home, and my co-sleeping, still-breastfeeding 13-month-old, every day looks like an episode of “What Time Is It Even?” But guess what? I’m actually okay with that! My child is thriving, I’m (mostly) sane, and we’ve discovered a rhythm that works for us—even if it looks like total chaos on paper.
Embracing the Non-Schedule Life
I started out by following my daughter’s cues from day one. As a newborn, she’d nurse, poop, cry for a bit, and sleep whenever she wanted, so I rolled with it. I snuck in naps whenever possible—key phrase being “whenever possible.” Then she got older, her awake windows got longer, and I realized we were not a scheduled-nap family. Some days she naps at 10 AM, other days noon (or not at all). Right now, we’re in a “one nap—maybe—at 2 PM or 3 PM” phase, and some days I’m left staring at her like, “Where did my baby go? Who decided one nap was enough?!”
Co-Sleeping & Nighttime Wake-Ups
Yes, I co-sleep. And yes, I’m still breastfeeding. Meaning: I get woken up 2–3 times a night by a tiny human who wants comfort, a snack, or maybe just to remind me who’s boss. But you know what? I prefer this to stumbling around a dark house multiple times a night. She’s right there next to me, so we both fall back asleep faster. Will it be this way forever? Doubtful. Or maybe she’ll be 8 and still rolling over to elbow me in the face—who knows. Either way, I’m not sweating it.
But…Don’t Other Moms Have Schedules?
Some do! And that’s awesome if it works for them. My close friend Samantha is one of those scheduled-ninjas, with a homeschooling routine that keeps her house from descending into absolute mayhem. Me? I would lose my mind trying to stick to a strict timetable. I don’t see my flexible approach as a failure; I see it as a willingness to adapt day by day.
Outside Opinions? “Thanks, We’re Good!”
Let’s be real: family and friends always have opinions about how you should raise your child. Some think I’m spoiling her by nursing on demand or letting her nap whenever she wants. Others worry she won’t learn “discipline.” My response? “Thanks for caring, but we’ve got this.” Politely yes-ing them to death while still doing your own thing is a skill all parents should master. It keeps the peace and preserves your sanity.
Work-From-Home Reality
Being a work-from-home mom adds another layer of “What the heck does a schedule even look like?” Some days, I’m on conference calls and my child is right next to me munching on crackers. Other days, I have a sitter who’s prepared to handle the unpredictability that is my child’s nap schedule (or non-schedule). In the early days, she outright refused bottles, so it was me or bust. Now that she’s eating solids, it’s a bit easier. But life is still a juggling act, and I’m constantly rearranging things so I can give her my full attention when I’m with her—and give work my full attention when I need to. If that means pushing nap time to 2 PM, so be it.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
I’m not going to lie: there are days when I’m so touched-out I want to crawl under a blanket and hide. Sometimes I cry in front of my child, and that’s okay. In fact, I think it’s healthy to show her that grown-ups have big emotions, too. I want her to see that talking about feelings—whether it’s frustration, fatigue, or overwhelm—is normal. It’s a good reminder for me, too, that I’m allowed to feel and express whatever I’m going through.
Practical Tips (Sort Of)
- Write down what’s not working: If you’re losing your mind trying to force a schedule, maybe consider a more flexible approach. If the chaos is too much, maybe experiment with a routine.
- Self-Care: Figure out one small thing you can do each day that lets you breathe—whether it’s a morning coffee alone, a quick walk, or a five-minute dance party in the kitchen (our current favorite).
- Find Your Tribe: A go-to person (mine is my mom!) or a therapist can make all the difference. Let them know you might need to vent at a moment’s notice.
- Embrace the Mess: Some days, the dishes are gonna stay in the sink, and that’s fine. Your job is to take care of yourself and your child first. The rest can wait.
A Final Word of Encouragement
Every stage of childhood is different. Some days you think you’ve finally cracked the nap code, and the next day everything falls apart. That is normal. Give yourself grace, and remember that no schedule (or non-schedule) is set in stone. There will always be growth spurts, teething, or random life events that throw you off track. Accepting that unpredictability can actually be freeing.
Your Turn
Are you more of a “strict schedule” parent, or do you fly by the seat of your (yoga) pants like me? Have you found a happy medium? I’d love to hear your stories, tips, or epic fails in the comments. And if you have questions—about juggling work, co-sleeping, dealing with outside opinions, or just how to keep your cool—I’m all ears.
(From one slightly sleep-deprived mom to another: you’ve got this. And if you don’t, you will. It’s all part of the wonderfully wild, sometimes messy, occasionally nap-less adventure we call motherhood.)
Latch, Laugh, and Repeat 